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5 Secrets You Should
Keep From Your Partner
It starts out simply
enough: A man and woman get together, they share some wine, they go back to
her place, their relationship grows, they laugh and they fight, and they
become-tada!-a couple. And then something happens: They're supposed
to share everything with each other. Their fears. Their dreams.
Their thoughts. Their bills. Their medicine cabinets. And that's when this
simple little romance starts to get complicated. in most relationships,
there's such a thing as too much sharing-and I believe that a little
discretion at the right time in the right situation is not only a good
thing, but also could actually improve relationships. As long as you're not
breaking the relationship rules-like playing tonsil hockey while the goalie
isn't watching-then a little mystery can be a good thing. Here, five secrets
you should keep to yourself-because not saying something will actually speak
volumes. (And just so you don't think that I'm pushing to abolish the
honesty policy, you'll read about the things you should never keep from your
partner next time.)
You Don't Turn Me on Right Now
Granted, there will be days when your partner walks into the room and
everything sparkles-moments like these make us count our blessings. But
there are going to be other moments when your woman looks less like Cindy
Crawford and more like Broderick Crawford, and when your guy is less Hugh
Grant than Lou Grant. But when the occasional fashion faux pas or haircut
from Edward Scissorshands comes around, swallow your tongue. If you want him
or her to wear certain styles, compliment what you like, and ignore what you
don't. Eventually, they'll get the message-but without the hurt feelings.
I Flirt With Others at Work
The stats don't lie: About 40 percent of men and 35 percent of women have
lusted after a co-worker-without ever making a move. Even if you have no
intention of taking it anywhere, nobody wants to think of their significant
others spending 8, 10, 12 hours a day around flirtatious and attractive
co-workers, especially when they look, smell and behave at their very best.
Want to share sexual secrets? Confess your attraction to Hollywood celebs,
not the co-workers in the adjacent cube.
I Can't Stand Your Friends
Your partner's circle of friends probably come in three different
categories: a perfect package, nice enough, and how the hell can the two of
you be friends? In that last category, there are all kinds of crazies-maybe
she's too controlling, or maybe he's a bad influence. Whatever the case,
know your audience. You may not like the friends, but your partner has more
history with them than with you. So while they may not rank high on your
personal list, keep it to yourself. Boxing out a man's friends is a
relationship deal breaker, according to 83 percent of men we surveyed. And
62 percent of women would end a relationship if a guy doesn't get along with
her friends.
I Still Think About My Ex
While it's natural to think about your ex, the Internet has increasingly
made exes a bigger threat than ever before. The phenomenon of searching
online for one's ex, which the majority of Americans admit to, can really
make your partner jealous and fearful-especially since the phenomenon of
people reuniting with very old flames has recently exploded (again, because
of the Internet). You put your exes in the past; do the same with any
conversation about them.
I Can't Live Without You
Why? Number one, it's not true; you can live without them. And number two,
the key to a successful long-term relationship is to ensure that you've got
your own life. You can say I love you, I enjoy you, I desire you, I
appreciate you. You don't say I can't live without you. A partner should
never feel trapped. He or she should be making a choice every day to be with
you. And you, with them.
Have your own stories and secrets you think should one should keep mum
about? Share them here.
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